Senator Rob Bishop owns no monkeys. He doesn't own any monkeys and he has made that clear. He said: Just to clear the deck ... I own no monkeys. Now that that has been cleared up we can probably get on to more important information. In fact to avoid these situations in the future we can just wear one of these funny t-shirts or buttons every time that we think that this may be an issue. There are stickers you can put anywhere and even an apron in case this issue comes up in the kitchen or when you are cooking at a barbeque.