I think that I should admit up front that I have never seen an entire episode of Doctor Who even though I am old enough to have caught most seasons on their first run. I don’t think that this precludes me from talking about this super geeky device though. I love the schematic above. I do like schematics and blueprints. I guess part of that is because I like the color blue. I like to see how things work too. Not that I can learn anything from this particular schematic as it is a schematic for a fictional device. A fictional device from a low-cost (and quality) TV production. But the schematic comes included with the Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver Remote Control.
The sonic screwdriver is apparently an ugly device that looks like a cross between a vibrator and a cattle prod. It comes with a stand that you can rest on your mantelpiece or coffee table so your friends can think you are some sick sadist…or masochist…or sadomasochist…whichever, it’s probably not going to create a great impression. But then again, if they know it is a replica of some magical screwdriver it might be worse. Yes, most people have never seen a sonic screwdriver and will probably do a quick 2 + 2 in their head and come up with electrocuting vibrator.
But if you are a single guy, it could be worse. Imagine you bring a girl home. I know, if you watch Doctor Who, this is a probably stretching your imagination a bit far … or maybe not. Anyway, let’s try it. You bring a girl home and she sees your pleasure device and is interested … score! But what to do next?
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Are you going to pleasure her with it or are you going to tell her the truth? Tell her the truth, that it is actually a universal remote control in the style of the eleventh Doctor’s sonic screwdriver from the hit show Doctor Who and she’ll probably walk right out the door.
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Pleasure her with it and you’ll have to clean her love-juices off one of your favorite pieces of geek crap and make up some story as to why your TV and stereo etc. kept switching on and off and changing volume etc. while you penetrated her with Doctor Who’s instrument.
Anyway, if you do want to get your hands on this potentially multi-functional tool you are going to have to wait (but not for long) as it is on preorder at the moment and is expected to be shipped to retailers at the end of this month.
You can get it from Forbidden Planet for £59 (about US$92 at today’s exchange rate.)
Link: Forbidden Planet